Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentines Day, Grandma!

I'm a little weary of the Valentines Day haters - those who whine and complain, say it is a holiday made up by card companies, that kind of thing.  ( It is remarkable to me that the same people who hate on this holiday will go to the time, extent, trouble and yes - spend money - sending anti-Valentines Day sentiments. Whassup with that?)

Yesterday at work, a man took a Valentine card off the rack and said to his wife, "Here, this is a Valentine for you. Now I'm going to put it back on the rack!"  He was serious.  I shook my head and thought, "oh boy, aren't you a treasure...."  Of course it isn't about if or  how much you spend, or mandatory card & gift giving. You celebrate  it because you want to, not because you have to.  And before I hear one more time - "Oh, I show my love every day,  I don't need a holiday to force me, " I say well, stupid, you are SUPPOSED to show it every day.  Some days that is more of a challenge than other days, as anyone who has been in a relationship of any kind lasting longer than 15 minutes can tell you.

My Grandma Emma died on Valentines Day many years ago, and it was perfect.  Let me explain - she was a very simple woman, who conceived and bore her children in the same bed, on a farm in Nebraska.  I remember asking her what it was like to give birth at home and she said, "Well, I just did my best, that was all we could do back then." She adored her husband, my Grandpa John, and she loved her Lord.  Grandma's mother died on a holiday - Easter - and she thought that was the most wonderful thing, that you could go to meet your Lord on Easter.  That's when she told me she wanted to die on a holiday.  My Grandpa John died years before she did, and she mourned and missed him profoundly.  When she did pass, I thought it would ruin Valentines Day forever, until I remembered her wish to die on a holiday.  What better day to be reunited with the great loves of her life - her husband and her Lord - than on Valentines Day?

Valentines Day is about love. Period.  All kinds of love - family, friends, pets, lovers, caregivers - all  should be celebrated and acknowledged in whatever manner you like. This acknowledgment of others will enrich your soul, and remind you to give yourself a "Valentine" of some sorts as well.  Here is my favorite Valentine, one my mother did up in calligraphy and I have it hanging in (yes) my bathroom.  I see it every morning and it reminds me every day to love myself in order to love others better.

Thomas à Kempis said, "Keep thyself in peace, and then thou wilt be able to bring others to peace.  Have a zeal, therefore, in the first place over thyself."

3 comments:

  1. Good night, Happy Valentines Day!!

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  2. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story. You just gave me the perfect way to change my thinking. My late husband died on the 4th of July... previously my favorite holiday. But the last 10 yrs without him on that day have made it my LEAST favorite.

    By using your way of thinking, I can have my favorite holiday back. Now I can think that Bobby left this world with fireworks and a parade. A picnic and friends. What could be better than that?? Thank you so much for flipping my attitude about that date.

    Gayle

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  3. I'm glad you "flipped" the date; I really love how you made the 4th of July a celebration of his life and a great way to remember him. My heartfelt condolences on your loss, I know that it takes long, long time to come to grips with a loss like that. For what it's worth, I have learned that love never dies, it just changes form and comes to you in different ways......

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