Resolving to Not Resolve

Beginning week 2 of the furlough from work.  I had no overwhelming plans for what to do or  make, finish or start but I think I have set a new record......low.   Since the Bernina is still in a different repair shop,  I'm left with way too much time on my hands to ponder the purchase of a 2nd, used machine.  I feel guilty just writing it about it - it seems like such an extravagance. But as to the long list of other things I could be doing?  Aside from cleaning out my closets and delivering an overstuffed car load of clothing and miscellaneous household goods to the local food pantry thrift shop.... nadda.

The one thing I have accomplished during this unpaid, stress filled furlough is epic sleep. Maybe it is a reflection of the exhausted state that most of us function in year round, or it could be a symptom of depression.  Probably an unhealthy combination of both but I flat out refuse to guilt myself about sleeping.  Sleep is wonderful, blissful, and free -  and I feel it so deep in my sore bones. Before he left for work this morning, my husband came in to our bedroom to kiss me goodbye.  He leaned over and saw that my electric blanket had timed  off, and flicked it back ON.  What a stellar guy.  I rolled over on my side and just faded off for another hour or so, and it was bliss.

I have also had time to read blogs and admire what others are working on, doing, or surviving.  The woman over at Toddler Planet has my heart in the palm of her hand.  Go over and visit, send her your very best energy, love and light.   The older I get the more I seem to know people who are suffering and  struggling with health issues.  If you do not know about Caring Bridge free websites go and find out now.  You will probably need one someday for someone you know. They are a marvelous and  remarkable way to keep family and friends updated and  involved without causing stress to the one who is ill.  We have a CaringBridge page for my Dad and it warms my heart to see my cousins and aunts and uncles leaving him little notes of love and support, telling him what they are doing, etc.  I'm not sure that Dad comprehends it when we read him the entries but I can tell you that we,  his children,  have taken such comfort in reading those guest book entries.  It is a wonderful thing.

I have one week of furlough left and I have resolved to resolve.....nothing.  I live with enough demands on my time, my pocket, my sore bones and my spirit. I'm going to watch Downton Abbey every  time it is on television.  I am going to read and doze and take a couple of obscenely long showers and use some French soap I've been saving up for something special.  I am special.  I am using that lovely soap on my tired body and I will  inhale the fragrance and I will allow myself the pleasure of rest with no demands.