Quilt Bitch - (noun). \ˈkwil-t\ \ˈbich\. 1) A person convinced of their self-superior knowledge of quilting. 2) An omnipotent judge of everyone else's inferior quilting taste, techniques, color and fabric. 3) A snarky, self-absorbed person who is compelled to "grade the paper" of everyone else's work with LOUD and unsolicited criticism. 4) A person who believes in the paramount value and superiority of everything they themselves create.
QB's. We all know one, and if we're honest - we'd admit to knowing several. They are out there, those trolls who seek to suck the inherent joy and satisfaction that quilting brings to all who undertake it with open hearts. The latest salvo in the quilting wars has caused quite a stir. Apparently, there is someone out there proclaiming that contemporary quilts aren't "hard" or "complicated" enough to qualify as "real" quilts. (I won't give the blowhard/nimrod blog space, just Google it if you want to know more.)
My question - why do people need to do this? Why are they so driven to pass judgment? I haven't a clue why anyone would want to make a Sunbonnet Sue quilt (and I mourn the waste of good fabric) but hell, if it floats your boat go nuts. Sometimes I look at quilts I have made in years past and wonder what the hell I was thinking. I confess I used to look on anything that wasn't made of traditional or historic reproduction fabrics as "meh" but I never once dissed them. I just did not understand them. Thankfully that has changed and now I'm open to just about anything. I may not like it but I can always learn something from looking at it and reading about what the quilter had in mind.
So how to deal with QB's? I offer the following:- Refer them to the SMUG ALERT episode of South Park. (hysterical, wicked pissah funny)
- Avoid them. You can never "hug it out" with a QB. Don't feed the trolls.
- Stare at them. Don't say a word. Just stare at them. Silence best conveys your opinion of theirs.
- If you are one or see yourself in the definition above, knock it the hell off.
It is difficult to get props for being a quilter - there are enough people out there who think we are all grannys in long dresses and white lacy caps and have no teeth. Those who attack from within our ranks are a cancer and need to be starved of attention so they will shrivel and fade away.
Think a QB is harsh? Meh. When I hear one of them crush the fledgling spirit of a new quilter I can't find my purse-sized photon torpedo launcher fast enough. If you QB's want a war, you have one. And it won't be civil.
Awesome Post!
ReplyDeleteAmen and bravo.
ReplyDeleteI guess this is why I am mostly a solitary quilter. If people are being rude online, I can just delete their messages. Sorry that there are mean people even in the kind and happy world of quilting.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like you're condemning a post you haven't even read. I believe I read the post that got everyone started and what she said was grossly misinterpreted, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteIf I did not read the actual post I would not know about it nor would I presume to comment.
ReplyDeleteApparently there are legions of us who, in your opinion, "misinterpreted" the intent of the writer.
You are entitled to your opinion, we all have them, but if I were the writer of the original post I would ask myself why
SO MANY others reached the same conclusion. My point was not to single out any one individual, but to acknowledge the presence of those self-appointed judges who harm and diminish others.
[...] Quilting’s Not-So-Civil War (jomaj.wordpress.com) [...]
ReplyDeleteOh boy, Jo......you stepped in it and I LOVE IT!!!! I too am a solitary quilter not associated with any quilt guild. Shoot.... there are four more quilters on the street and several quilt guilds in town and I AM JUST NOT INTERESTED. Not too many months ago I was looking at some beautiful crochet threads at the local quilt store. Each little bundle of color cost way more than I was willing to invest because I overquilt. When I commented to the owner that I loved the threads but it would cost me $80. to work my quilt she asked me what I used. I told her. And she said to me (and it's the last thing she will ever say to me)...."oh my God...you use that?" Sigh. The QB's are all over the place. I'm not great at making quilts but I'm not too darn bad at it either. Family and friends love them, I love making them and everyone else can take a flying leap. Don't stop what you do.
ReplyDeleteAnd I want to read the article that set you off, darnit.
ReplyDeleteWORD!! For about 6 months I was part of a quilt group (the UK equivalent of a guild). I hoped for fun afternoons, and helpful advice--I'd just got into P&Qing. They were all 20years older than me, with fixed, super-trad ideas, and I was made to feel like a pleb who had to be properly educated. I reached a point where my gut would twist up on the bus trip there, wondering how long the little silence would last when I unpacked my current project, and what, if anything, anyone would say to me, so I quit. I didn't tell them that, I never went back. I doubt I was missed. ;-)
ReplyDeleteSince, I have found a wonderful friend in a fellow solo quilter, and she is more sister to me than my own. I have no idea on the post that set you off--I manage to miss kerfuffle--is a talent, no?:-)--b/c I hang out at Dreamwidth now, but I am *so* with you on this topic. As my friend H says, 'who died and made you god?' Who *do* they think they are, to trample other's creativity? To quote Wheeler Wilcox; 'They take the measure of their own small soul and think the world no larger.'
I add you made me laugh out loud reading this post, and I found you from Cathi at Quilt Obsession. :-) Hazle