Hooray! Canadian Geese are extinct! How do I know this? THEY NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. It is that time of year when these migrating, flying poop machines start hanging out at golf courses, traffic circles, football fields, you name it. Eat, Fly, Poop if you wanted to write a book about it. TV stations start doing cute reports about all those "Canadian Geese stopping traffic by wandering off the golf course and in to the street. Yuk yuk yuk, back to you, Bob."
Canadian? Really?
I'm not sure who started calling them Canadian geese, but they are not. They are Canadas. A single one is referred to as a Canada goose, a flock would be called a flock of Canada geese. They are not Canadian geese because they are not Canadians - those are 1) people, who are 2) citizens of Canada. Whenever I hear someone call them Canadian geese I always ask them if they had little bird passports tucked under their wings, or had a hockey stick strapped to their back. Yuk yuk yourself, dude.
It's always a good day when you learn something new, right? So - all together now - CANADIAN GEESE ARE EXTINCT. LONG LIVE CANADA GEESE. Except for when they are pooping all over the place - I mean jeez, dudes, really.
Our next lesson will be debunking the saying, "The proof is in the pudding." In addition to being only half of the actual expression, it this form it makes absolutely no sense. It will make sense when you learn the full phrase. Your homework assignment is to look it up and write a one page report, single spaced, 1 inch margins, ink - not pencil. No fountain pens.
Class dismissed.
