When making a graham cracker crust last week I instinctively reached for the phone to call my mom and ask her about baking temps. She has been gone for 9 years but she is still my go-to person. I had no idea how much information was stored in her head until we lost her. She was the central pivot in our family, keeping everyone rotating in orbits, tracking the whereabouts, births, deaths, marriages, arrivals and departures of the vast tribe that is our extended family. When that ship sailed, so did a mountain of information.
We lost another grownup this weekend - My Uncle Ed. The McGill side of my
[caption id="attachment_1616" align="alignright" width="193" caption="St. Leonards - the McGill "Mother Church" "]
[/caption]family has/had a nice tradition at funerals. We line up in semi-birth order, the cousins are together, the grandchildren of the deceased are together, the siblings, etc. We then march into church with the immediate family sitting up front, then the grandkids, cousins, etc. all in order. I have noticed that as the years pass, I have moved closer and closer to the front pew. The people in church are mostly younger than I am - and sitting behind me.
When I am in Iowa or Wisconsin with one of my sisters, we chatter endlessly on those long drives across the plains to Nebraska. When we get stumped on some bit of family history or knowledge we hit the invisible OnStar button on the dashboard and say, "OnStar, could you ask Mom (enter question here.)" Mom was our OnStar. Our "MomStar" if you will. A vast repository of wide-ranging resources, trivia, experience and wisdom.
As I lose more and more of those grown-ups from my childhood it makes me feel a little wobbly about who is in charge - who are the grownups now? Me - an OnStar? It is not an option. We are destined to step up, take the place of our elders and pass along those same things. We are the role models, supporters, informers, and safe-harbors of their life's journey.
We are the grownups now. We have the view from the front pew.
