Whining Interrupted

I have neglected my blog - a series of days with temps in high 90's &  heat indexes of 107 can do that to a person. There are only 2 rooms in our house with an AC unit and anything outside of those rooms is uninhabitable.  Add to that my first, EPIC case of poison ivy and you have some idea of where my head has been for the past three weeks. I finally broke down yesterday and saw a nurse practitioner  who took one look at me (and my jumbo zip lock bag full of OTC lotions and sprays) and prescribed oral steroids. She said it "might" make me irritable.  (I told her my husband would not notice the change.)

While I whine and moan and complain about the heat, itching, and how everything in my laundry basket has calamine lotion stains, a blogger who I admire and love has had more on her plate than any human should have to endure. The blog is Toddler Planet , but don't let the name fool you. Toddler Planet is written by Susan Niebur, four time cancer survivor, astrophysicist, and mom of two happy little 4 & 6-year-old boys. Susan is now fighting metastatic breast cancer in her spine, hip, and ribs, still looking for that "new normal."

Any ONE of those things would be enough to deal with, but all of them?  There are no adequate words to describe her brilliance, her humor, her humanity and her uncanny ability to take her own trials and use them to benefit others. She makes science and the study of the stars spellbinding.  I am in complete awe of her - and I pray for her daily.  I think of her often, and at odd times throughout the day.  I have always believed that when we think of someone out of the blue, it is actually grace compelling us to say a prayer for that person.

As I get older, I appreciate more and more the short prayer Catholics say during the Our Father.  When you get to the "deliver us from evil" part most Christians continue right  into "for Thine is the kingdom..." but Catholics inserted a little bonus application for help:

Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope.....

Being protected from anxiety is something I have struggled with my entire life.  I love that little add-on, and I  frequently use it as a stand-alone prayer.  I believe in the power of prayer.  I pray that Susan is delivered from anxiety, and from all the other things she is struggling with today.  Please join me & send up your own versions of something that will wrap this woman (whom I have never met) in a loving blanket of faith, healing and comfort.

Thank you.

Resolving to Not Resolve

Beginning week 2 of the furlough from work.  I had no overwhelming plans for what to do or  make, finish or start but I think I have set a new record......low.   Since the Bernina is still in a different repair shop,  I'm left with way too much time on my hands to ponder the purchase of a 2nd, used machine.  I feel guilty just writing it about it - it seems like such an extravagance. But as to the long list of other things I could be doing?  Aside from cleaning out my closets and delivering an overstuffed car load of clothing and miscellaneous household goods to the local food pantry thrift shop.... nadda.

The one thing I have accomplished during this unpaid, stress filled furlough is epic sleep. Maybe it is a reflection of the exhausted state that most of us function in year round, or it could be a symptom of depression.  Probably an unhealthy combination of both but I flat out refuse to guilt myself about sleeping.  Sleep is wonderful, blissful, and free -  and I feel it so deep in my sore bones. Before he left for work this morning, my husband came in to our bedroom to kiss me goodbye.  He leaned over and saw that my electric blanket had timed  off, and flicked it back ON.  What a stellar guy.  I rolled over on my side and just faded off for another hour or so, and it was bliss.

I have also had time to read blogs and admire what others are working on, doing, or surviving.  The woman over at Toddler Planet has my heart in the palm of her hand.  Go over and visit, send her your very best energy, love and light.   The older I get the more I seem to know people who are suffering and  struggling with health issues.  If you do not know about Caring Bridge free websites go and find out now.  You will probably need one someday for someone you know. They are a marvelous and  remarkable way to keep family and friends updated and  involved without causing stress to the one who is ill.  We have a CaringBridge page for my Dad and it warms my heart to see my cousins and aunts and uncles leaving him little notes of love and support, telling him what they are doing, etc.  I'm not sure that Dad comprehends it when we read him the entries but I can tell you that we,  his children,  have taken such comfort in reading those guest book entries.  It is a wonderful thing.

I have one week of furlough left and I have resolved to resolve.....nothing.  I live with enough demands on my time, my pocket, my sore bones and my spirit. I'm going to watch Downton Abbey every  time it is on television.  I am going to read and doze and take a couple of obscenely long showers and use some French soap I've been saving up for something special.  I am special.  I am using that lovely soap on my tired body and I will  inhale the fragrance and I will allow myself the pleasure of rest with no demands.