My Name is Jo, and I am a Craniac.

Disclaimer:  I am not a "birder" by any means, but  growing up in the Central North American Flyway I just assumed the migration of  cranes was something everyone got to see.   Not true.  Ever since  I moved East  I have to miss  the annual migration of Sandhill cranes, now taking place....back home.  I am a craniac.  A lover of those long, leggy birds that come by the thousands and fill the skies at sunrise and sunset. They are a wonder to watch - they dance, they call, they huddle, feed, and sleep.   They are tall - three feet, plus.

From the International Crane Foundation website:

Mated pairs of cranes, including Sandhill Cranes, engage in unison calling, which is a complex and extended series of coordinated calls. While calling, cranes stand in an upright posture, usually with their heads thrown back and beaks skyward during the display. In Sandhill Cranes the female initiates the display and utters two, higher-pitched calls for each male call. While calling, the female raises her beak about 45 degrees above the horizontal while the male raises his bill to a vertical position. All cranes engage in dancing, which includes various behaviors such as bowing, jumping, running, stick or grass tossing, as well as wing flapping. Though it is commonly associated with courtship, dancing can occur at any age and season. Dancing is generally believed to be a normal part of motor development for cranes and thwarts aggression, relieves tension, and strengthens the pair bond.

Watching them dance  moves something inside you that cannot be put in to words - it is primal, intimate  and awesome.  I am so thankful to the  Audubon Center at  Rowe Sanctuary for soothing my homesick soul with their wonderful CRANE CAM.  Viewing is best in the early (sunrise)  or late (sunset) hours of the day - do remember they are in the Central Time Zone.  If no birds are visible, it's still nice to listen to the Platte River ("a mile wide and an inch deep") roll past.
Remember when CBS Sunday Morning used to have that nature piece at the end of every show?  Now they call it a "moment of nature" because that is how long it lasts. Back in the day  it used to roll about 2 minutes long, with extraordinary footage of some fabulous location, animals, or volcanic activity.  ( If you are listening CBS -  I miss that.  Anyone with the attention span longer than that of a gnat misses it, too.)   I remember several years ago on  a Sunday, watching that show on my 2nd or 3rd cup of coffee when the nature segment came on and the  announcer said,   "We leave you today on the Platte River in Nebraska, where the Sandhill cranes are making a stop on their annual migration."  I watched with pure delight - and then I burst into homesick tears.   It was fabulous.  I have a connection with those birds.  I am a craniac.

PS - the camera at the Rowe Sanctuary is Flash based, meaning  we can't watch it on our iPads.  Along with CBS Sunday Morning butchering their nature segments, the lack of Flash capability on their devices has also earned  Apple and Steve Jobs a special place on my  "Turd in the Punchbowl" list.

$tupid iPhone Charge$

The latest weapon in Apple Computer's diabolical  world-domination scheme  is - get ready for  this - ringtones.  Honest.  I have an old iPhone that was given to me by a friend who, like me, is a gadget whore.  He could better rationalize getting a new one if he found a good home for his old one, and believe me there is no good-er home for a gadget than with me.  I don't use it as a phone - AT&T is too rich for my blood -  but I do have it loaded with all kinds of  apps.  One of my favs is actually named "Quilt Fab" - it calculates yardage, binding, sashing, etc. for any size quilt.  Bitchin'.

I also like the alarm clock on the iPhone.  I can hook it up to play any number of preloaded ringtones but recently I decided I wanted something new, something different - something..... funny.  It's good to wake up with a laugh, right?  Since nothing is funnier than farts  I hightailed it to my iTunes  and purchased a couple of 20 second clips from the  Worlds Funniest Ringtone Collection. ( I also purchased a ringtone of the Brandenburg Concerto, so don't go pointing fingers lest somebody pull it. )

So - get this.  They aren't ringtones.  Seriously.  THEY ARE NOT RINGTONES.  Lyndsay (Yes, that is how you spell her name.  Another poor child with a stoned parent who decided it would be cute for her daughter to spend her entire life spelling out her name for people)  clued me in on how I have actually purchased  SONGS, and for another charge I could "convert it" in to a ring tone.  Seriously.  I had to read the email about three times because I could not believe that the 20 second ringtone clip I paid for and downloaded had to be paid for TWICE so it could actually be USED as a freakin' RINGTONE.

There is more.  Songs you have ALREADY  purchased from iTunes can also be converted in to ringtones.  You select the part of the song you have ALREADY PAID FOR and PAY FOR IT AGAIN so you can use the 20 seconds you have, again,  ALREADY PAID FOR as a freakin' ringtone.  I am serious.   This is either incredibly greedy and evil or  the handiwork of a diabolical  genius.  I'll let you guess which side I'm coming down on here.

I already know you can download software and edit music clips and cram them into iTunes and use them as ringtones but folks I do have a life  and on my long  list of  chores,  creating ringtones comes just after "clean toilets" and "mop baseboards."   I think the whole thing just stinks.  Apple Computers is one of the richest companies in the world  yet they want me to keep paying for something I have already purchased.   That's like going to the store and buying fish and getting home and finding out you have to pay again if you actually want to cook and eat the fish.  Buy a sweater for work?  You'll have to pay an extra fee if you want to wear it around the house. Give me a break,  Apple.  Say what you will about Microsoft (and believe me, I have plenty to say about them too) but at least they left some money on the table for independent developers and don't charge me if I want to use the 'help' menu in MS Word AND MS Excel.

Thus endeth the lesson.  PS - I  even hate eating apples, the skin sticks in between  my teeth.  Stupid evil fruit.