I have spent an unfair amount of my life staring at ceilings, namely the drop ceilings found in doctor's offices. I have had a LOT of surgery over the years so I am something of a connoisseur of ceiling construction, examination garments (paper and cloth) and the accoutrement that goes with yet another trip to the doctor to see what-the-hell-is-wrong-this-time.
My most favorite ceiling was in the OB/GYN offices of my beloved and much missed Dr. Rose Osborne. Rose was not only a hell of a surgeon, but for a "cutter" she had a great sense of humor. Rose always had pictures on the ceiling so you had something to enjoy and contemplate while your feet were in the stirrups. God I loved that woman - and I miss her dearly. Cancer often takes the best from this earth and I'm getting a seriously bad attitude about the "why" of it all.
Most hospital or doctor's offices have dropped ceilings with or without the little black dots. I have counted those dots many times while waiting for a doctor, physician assistant, EMG, EKG, MRI, X-ray, or any one of the endless round of procedures I seem to have on my chart. A few ceilings have that textured popcorn stuff that is pretty droll and gives you nothing but endless craters to contemplate as you prepare yourself for what comes next. I'm surprised that no one has thought to put a flat screen on the ceiling so you could watch a movie or take in a sitcom - have a few laughs while you get tubes and electrodes stuck into places where the sun don't shine. It sure would make a difference. Hell, it would make a huge difference. The pharmaceutical companies should cough up some serious bucks for those things instead of the wine-and-dine golf outings and BS they pay for now.
I feel at this point I have earned my own examination gown (they call them a "johnny" out here) that I could whip out of my totebag and put on with some
aplomb. I'd certainly make it out of some attractive print, maybe a Kaffe Fassett, so I could at have something pleasurable to wrap up in for the duration. (The bleached out drab greens and blues are surgical and so depressing. I'm just sayin' . ) As for the ceilings - well, hell - would a little something up there bankrupt your practice? I don't think so. I'm not asking for the Sistine Chapel (although a poster of it up there would be a pisser) but is it really asking too much to tack something up there so those of us trapped in a tarp with three armholes can have a little something to look at while we ponder what orifice or vein is next to be violated?I have an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon this morning at a sports medicine clinic. I can't wait to see what they have on the walls. Judging by the age of the building, I can tell you right now the ceilings are going to have fluorescent light fixtures with those cracked ice lenses. There will be pictures of patients shooting a basketball, or back on their slalom skis swooshing about with "thanks Doc!" penned across the bottom. I'll bet anybody $100 that their ceilings are bare of any posters, much less one of a 50- something female with a spinal fusion from scoliosis gone to hell-in-a-hand basket. Any takers?
I didn't think so.
No comments:
Post a Comment