$tupid iPhone Charge$

The latest weapon in Apple Computer's diabolical  world-domination scheme  is - get ready for  this - ringtones.  Honest.  I have an old iPhone that was given to me by a friend who, like me, is a gadget whore.  He could better rationalize getting a new one if he found a good home for his old one, and believe me there is no good-er home for a gadget than with me.  I don't use it as a phone - AT&T is too rich for my blood -  but I do have it loaded with all kinds of  apps.  One of my favs is actually named "Quilt Fab" - it calculates yardage, binding, sashing, etc. for any size quilt.  Bitchin'.

I also like the alarm clock on the iPhone.  I can hook it up to play any number of preloaded ringtones but recently I decided I wanted something new, something different - something..... funny.  It's good to wake up with a laugh, right?  Since nothing is funnier than farts  I hightailed it to my iTunes  and purchased a couple of 20 second clips from the  Worlds Funniest Ringtone Collection. ( I also purchased a ringtone of the Brandenburg Concerto, so don't go pointing fingers lest somebody pull it. )

So - get this.  They aren't ringtones.  Seriously.  THEY ARE NOT RINGTONES.  Lyndsay (Yes, that is how you spell her name.  Another poor child with a stoned parent who decided it would be cute for her daughter to spend her entire life spelling out her name for people)  clued me in on how I have actually purchased  SONGS, and for another charge I could "convert it" in to a ring tone.  Seriously.  I had to read the email about three times because I could not believe that the 20 second ringtone clip I paid for and downloaded had to be paid for TWICE so it could actually be USED as a freakin' RINGTONE.

There is more.  Songs you have ALREADY  purchased from iTunes can also be converted in to ringtones.  You select the part of the song you have ALREADY PAID FOR and PAY FOR IT AGAIN so you can use the 20 seconds you have, again,  ALREADY PAID FOR as a freakin' ringtone.  I am serious.   This is either incredibly greedy and evil or  the handiwork of a diabolical  genius.  I'll let you guess which side I'm coming down on here.

I already know you can download software and edit music clips and cram them into iTunes and use them as ringtones but folks I do have a life  and on my long  list of  chores,  creating ringtones comes just after "clean toilets" and "mop baseboards."   I think the whole thing just stinks.  Apple Computers is one of the richest companies in the world  yet they want me to keep paying for something I have already purchased.   That's like going to the store and buying fish and getting home and finding out you have to pay again if you actually want to cook and eat the fish.  Buy a sweater for work?  You'll have to pay an extra fee if you want to wear it around the house. Give me a break,  Apple.  Say what you will about Microsoft (and believe me, I have plenty to say about them too) but at least they left some money on the table for independent developers and don't charge me if I want to use the 'help' menu in MS Word AND MS Excel.

Thus endeth the lesson.  PS - I  even hate eating apples, the skin sticks in between  my teeth.  Stupid evil fruit.