An Open Letter to the Airlines

Please explain to me (and the rest of the world) why you have luggage policies and then routinely ignore them. I'm just asking.  I try to be a good traveler (I'm a middle child, quite the pleaser and rule-follower) and I am confused.

The rule states one small carry-on, and one personal item such as a purse or briefcase.  Okay.  Then how do all the guys with three bags all stacked up (almost equal to my height) get to "walk-on" with all that luggage?  How does the chick with a 34 zipper expanding compartment suitcase get to walk on with all 34 zippers expanded and full?  Even if they bought a fir$t cla$$ ticket, aren't the baggage rules the same?   Apparently not.

This is my luggage for a one week trip home.  ONE WEEK.  My purse is next to my bag.  I am superfly.  I also stayed with my sisters, so I didn't have to pack a lot in the way of toiletries or hair dryers, and since they each have a washer/dryer, I was in pretty good shape. But I digress - this is my entire week's luggage.  My carry on did not fit in the overhead luggage in Midwest Airline's Airbus 319.  Seating for six across - and the world's thinnest overhead luggage.  "If your luggage exceeds 9 inches in thickness" (honest, nine freakin' inches) "it will not fit in the overhead luggage compartment."   Midwest Airlines, really?  Nine inches?  Why bother?  Why not call it "overhead coat storage" and be honest about it?  While I have your attention, please - let go of the chocolate chip cookie thing.  I used to love your airline. (I might have married it.) You had those lovely wide seats, wonderful staff, and hot chocolate chip cookies at the end of each flight.  Now you just have the wonderful staff.  You have the sardine chairs and you make some poor person go up and down the aisles with COLD COOKIES at the end of each flight.  Bogus.  Why bother?

Back to the luggage thing.  I am really amazed at how many people walk on a flight with excess luggage. In addition to delaying the plane's loading and unloading,  they fill up all the overhead space and anyone unfortunate enough to be boarding  after them is, well, tough luck.

Here is my suggestion.  Let me work the front gate before my flight. I'd be happy to be the bag police, because evidently your employees do not have the stones to say NO to people.  I'm sure it would get old, getting yelled at and all, but if all of you airlines worked together and put the hammer down it would save a lot of this BS and maybe people would not dread flying so much.  Me? I have no problem being the bag police. I would actually like to work off some pre-flight stress, PMS, whatever. Bring it on, people.  I can deal. I can tell you right now - you are gonna check those damn bags.  Then,  we will all  get to where we are  going faster and saner. Win -win.

There.  I feel better.  Even thought I am home sick today with my airline's lovely parting gift - a 4 alarm bangin' head cold.  We'll work on that issue next time.