Non-Profit Rant - Schooling the Universe on Reality

My work is never done.  Strong language warning disclosure - stop reading if you can't deal.

About 3 years ago I was in Lincoln, Nebraska at one of those Ten Thousand Villages shops buying some trip treats.  They were just for me, and I knew they had to get mushed up and put in a suitcase so I was thinking about that strategy while watching the  young woman ringing up the purchases of the person ahead of me in line.   She took each necklace (retailing at about $15) and put it in a little cotton cushioned jewelry box (embossed with their logo).  Then she wrapped each of the boxes in colored tissue paper and put them in a cub bag (the kind with handles and again with the imprinted logo.)  The person paid for her necklaces with a credit card.  I'm standing there doing the cost-of-sales math in my head (an affliction of being in retail for 17 years) and I'm thinking, "wow, they lost money on that sale."  When it came to my turn, I said, "You can skip the boxes,  just wrap them up in one piece of tissue and  put them in that paper bag," as I pointed to a stack of flat bags.  There, I thought, that will save them some money and allow me to just place the bag  in my suitcase.  "Oh no," twittered the woman, "we are happy to package these up beautifully for you!" So I paused and took a deep de-bitching breath and said, "Listen,  I'm traveling and I'll just throw away those boxes so I can fit it these in to my luggage - besides, it's expensive to do all that packaging and I just don't need it."

Honest, I was very nice about it.

She kept up with her boxing and tissuing and said, "Well, we're a non-profit, so it's really okay."    I had used up my last non-bitchy breath on her a minute ago, so I leaned in and said,  "Listen, non-profit is a tax status, not a business plan. You are loosing money on every sale with all that excess packaging,  it's bad for the environment, and if you keep loosing money you will have to close your doors. Is that your business plan?"  She looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights. I paid for my stuff and left, shaking my head and wondering why it seems to be my job in the universe to run in to every nimrod who thinks "non-profit" means "we don't have to make money."

The worst offenders?  People who serve on non-profit boards and non-profit workers themselves. Honestly.  It's mind-boggling.  The tax status awarded to non-profits is because of the nature of their business.  It's supposed to be for educational, social  service and arts organizations.  It is also granted (for some unknown reason) to those thieving shark debt consolidation businesses who screw over both the credit card companies owed and the people over their heads in debt.  Noble, huh.  You think they don't want to make money?

Here is a little test:

1. If you are a non-profit and at the end of the year you break even (if you are extremely lucky - but it won't happen, trust me), what exactly do you use to continue your business on January 2?


2. Can you pay your bills, utilities, staff and vendors with Monopoly money? (This is important!)


3. Is there someone humming or playing "Kumbaya" in the background of your offices / sales floor, just because it's so meaningful?


4. Have you sat at a board meeting and  absolved yourself from any fiduciary responsibility about chronic under staffing and ridiculously low salaries by saying, "well, we are non-profit......"?

A little "eye of the tiger" needs to be shot in to the veins of every non-profit worker and board member, and frankly - to the public at large.   I seem to be the only one around willing to do it - and frankly, I'm exhausted and I could use some help.